The Truth

Lord this hunger I feel is for you only. What I thought was for a man, was really for you all along. Lord you send us warnings, but so impulsively we are, we act instantly in oppose to just wait and be…still. Lord, who else am I to give all this love to if not all to you first? So unworthy I am to be given all the Love you give me continuously. With my sinful thoughts, my sinful acts and despising tongue; who I am to receive such unconditional love? The surface is where we as humans tend to look and gain our knowledge and judgment. But you are fair Oh Lord, you not merely glance at our hearts but you study them. You know our hearts from the inside out and that is where you judge. We as humans do not know our own hearts, filled with emotions and they are forever moving (and “emotions” and cannot be spelled without “motions”).  Forever shifting, molding according to what all happens to us that day, or all that is said to us that hour, or hear that second. But Lord you are CONSTANT in all you do. Your Love is unchanging. Though I yearn for a spouse, I know that no man on earth will ever be able to provide me the Love that my soul desires, that all our souls’ desire, at some point. The fact that I acknowledge that I do want a husband and a family, the fact that I yearn for them does not eliminate the truth that stands: they are not sustaining volume. They will all evaporate, but you LORD will remain in me CONSTANT as you are without me. Yes they will be lovely to have because they will be of you Oh LORD and I won’t settle for anything less. Nothing of this world Oh Lord. Curse Satan for trying to make me believe that a man of this world with his money, flash, dream of success only, desire to attain more and more money and live closer to it than you, is what I, a daughter of you, will have to settle with. Then my heart and its foolish and childlike ways will conform “Well it will bring you some comfort for some time.” “Some comfort….some time”! Who am I to believe such fallacies and conform to such limited and fading dreams! Am I not 2 COR 5:17? Am I not Proverbs 31?! Am I not Galatians 3:26?! Or was John 3:16 a fairytale for pathetic wretches like me to have hope? According to some theorists, what you believe in will become a reality to you, well my beliefs does not tie into actuality. Just because one believes the sky is red does not mean it actually is! LORD Oh GOD you are not tied down by beliefs nor are you limited by them! You are BEYOND! This heart of ours is condemning and it is of evil ways as it wills to deceit us, but you are greater than our hearts! LORD OH GOD there isn’t anyone like you and with ever void that attempts to build within me, my source of attack will ALWAYS be YOU because you are always more than enough! LORD are you not Revelations 22:13! Are you not Oh Lord Daniel 2:37?! JESUS! YOU ARE DEUTERONOMY 10:17! JESUS YOU WILL FOREVER BE Isaiah 47:4, Jeremiah 8:18, Psalm 147:3! Forever you will be John 15:5, Revelation 2:4 and I will be live to my fullest strength thru you Mark 12:30. LORD Oh GOD, “how can I keep from singing your praise, how could I ever say enough, how amazing is YOUR LOVE! How can I keep from shouting your name! I know I am loved by the KING and it makes my heart want to sing! (Chris Tomlin)”  LORD Oh GOD! Thank you for living in my soul, dwelling within my heart transforming it from the inside it, fighting against its ways as it seeks to separate me from you. LORD you know my motives, you are greater than my heart and you know the Truth, which is where I stand.

Faith

The struggles of being lonely
I thought I had to face daily
because I chose to break free
from your unity with me.
I loved you with all my heart,
to the end, from the start;
"With a love that was greater than a love..."
that I was sure it came from HIM above.
I could smell your scent,
and I could tell when it went
away from my heart and away from my soul,
which was when I begun to know.
But I fought for us,
fought for us to be more than "Just
another couple that didn't last."
But sometimes it is impossible to fight what is meant to be our past.
The battle took my energy and happiness,
until misery and agony was all I had left.
The days of weakness and nights of tears,
stemmed from the emotion we all fear---
loneliness.
I would pray for us to stay together,
and make it through this stormy weather,
but the LORD held my right hand and whispered,

"You know,"

so I opened my left hand and let you go.
Although empty my left hand felt,
not many tears fell as I wept.

"When the right man comes, I will let you know," my Savior said,
"but for now I am your sheet, comforter and your bed, so rest your head."

I thought about you always,
every second in every way.
The pain was never as striking
as me letting you go that day.

"It is because of I, you are learning that you are not alone.
I have held your right hand even with him gone."

Then I began to pray for a fixing
of me and whatever it was I felt was missing.

"Child, I have a set time to fill that hole,
but only I know.
So keep praying and trust me
because whatever you pray for with faith, you will receive."

HIS grasp on my hand grew warm,
my soul has been charmed.
Not by the touch of a man of flesh,
but by the compassionate words my beloved LORD professed.
HE speaks to my soul and not my drums,
HE gently holds my heart, but doesn't cling on.

"This is what you will feel when the right man takes your hand---
He will sweep you off your feet and then catch you like a man."

My anxiety grows, "Where is he?"

"Do not worry beloved,
for his timing is perfected.
A timing of when you will least expect it,
but for now just hold on child,
it can be days...it can be awhile.
Are you willing to be strong because now I am your only ONE?"

I firmly grasp HIS hand, "Yes Savior, because your will be done."


**Created on January 31, 2012
    Modified May 19, 2013

What JESUS Endured...

      I am reading the book of Isaiah and as of now, I am on chapter 25 so I have a long way to go (there are 66 chapters). Although I am not finished with this book, not even in the middle of it, much has taken place within these past 24 chapters but one thing in specific stuck out to me. Many nations has turned away from GOD so consequences were required. GOD brought much destruction onto these nations and its citizens. Prospering nations such as: Judah, Jerusalem, Assyria, Babylon, Philistia, Moab, Syria, Israel, Ethiopia, Egypt, Edon, Shebna, Arabia, Tyre and many others (Chapters 13-24). Terrible things were taken place within these nations--from poverty to inhospitable land. One of the worse things that could possibly happen to a land is it becoming inhospitable and unable to sustain life of any kind because this makes the land unprofitable and thus worthless. Kings of these lands were being triumphed over by other nations. GOD hardened the hearts of rulers causing them to make foolish decisions but they were not aware of this (c.10 v.7)  and even caused a "perverse spirit" to overtake Egypt making all their  actions to be sin (c.19 v. 14). Now check this out:

"The land is burned up,
And the people shall be as fuel for the fire;
No man shall spare his brother,
And he shall snatch on the right hand
And be hungry;
He shall devour on the left hand,
And not be satisfied;
Every man shall eat the flesh of his own arm.
Manasseh shall devour Ephraim, and Ephraim Manasseh;
Together they shall be against Judah." -c. 9 v. 19-21

Imagine yourself living in a world like this with a life like this (it isn't really life at all but it happens everyday in some way), but for us to not have any source of hope because this life is destined for us to live. A life where no matter what we do, who we pray to, who we seek, we will forever starve and never die. We could consume as much as possible until we are fat but we will never be full. This is a terrible life to live. A life where we can't turn to anyone for support because everyone is only living for themselves. You may think "we live this now" but we don't, because Followers of CHRIST are alive through CHRIST who is alive!

Now check this out:

"For all this HIS anger is not turned away;
But HIS hand is stretched out still."

This scripture is said six times up to chapter 14: (c. 5 v.25; c.9 v.12; c.9 v.17; c.9 v.21; c.10 v.4;
c.14 v. 26). This does not include an additional similar statement in c. 19 v. 16- "and fear because of the waving of the hand of the LORD of hosts, which HE waves over it." As I was reading those and acknowledging the repetition of it, a bit of English skills came to mind. The point of repetition is to instill it in the reader's head because it represents some form of significance. And can you imagine the significance here! Despite ALL of this damage and corruption and chaos being taken place in a world where "Hell from beneath is excited about you (c. 14 v. 9)"--despite a world where everyone is heading for hell as it "stirs up the dead for you (c. 14 v. 9)"---despite a world where everyone is out seeking for pleasure for themselves (literally "dog eat dog" world)---and despite a world described as being "burned...break down....trampled down....waste....briers and thorns....no rain on it (c. 5 v. 5-6)," ----despite all of this tragic and desolation, THIS IS STILL NOT THE FULLNESS OF GOD'S WRATH! Remember, HIS hand is still "out stretched" meaning that HE had not truly struck anyone nor anything to what they truly deserve as sinners. All of this and this is only just HIS anger building! (scary!--Thanks but no thanks!) Which brings me here---

Although this was not the fullness of HIS wrath and it was capable to make land unable to sustain life, do you know what this means? It means that as sinners, we deserve worse than a land that can't sustain life. If you viewed your body as a land and you were unable to sustain life, you would be considered worthless but based according to our sins, we deserve worse than that. JESUS endured that tragic and pain and desolation for us. JESUS took upon Himself  the fullness of GOD's wrath. HIS hand came down on JESUS. For us. For me...for you...your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, your aunt, your uncle, your grandma, your grandpa, your precious baby boy, your beautiful baby girl, and your friends who you love oh so dearly. JESUS endured it for all of us:

"But HE was wounded for our transgressions,
HE was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon HIM,
And by HIS stripes we are healed." -c.53 v.5

JESUS came to serve as the lamb, the sacrifice in order for us to be able to establish a relationship with GOD despite all the sinning we do. JESUS removed the curtain "the veil" that was separating us from GOD (sin, the power of). GOD does not desire "futile sacrifices (c. 1 v. 13)", GOD desires a relationship with each of us. This is only possible through CHRIST JESUS who, by HIS wounds, made our sins from "scarlet (c.1 v. 18)" to "white as snow (c.1 v.18)" and from "red like crimson [to] wool (c.1 v. 18), because believe it or not, all of us has turned away from GOD.

"All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the LORD has laid on HIM the iniquity of us all." -c. 53 v. 6

**So lets all take a minute after reading this and just thank JESUS for what HE endured for us. Let this seek into your skin and marinate on what HE endured for you, so you can have a relationship with GOD. So it didn't have to be you on that cross enduring more than just flesh peeling whips and deadly beatings but the wrath of the Creator of the universe. So you can be forgiven for all you feel shameful and guilty about and EMBRACE the love and grace of our Creator--- One on one, face to face, no curtain, no veil. =)

By Your Side (poem)

By Your Side…

When you feel your cup has runeth over

 with the troubles and the fleshes of the world,

remember where you came from.

Not from the lanes of lost dreams and avenues of dead hopes,

nor from the boulevards of darkness of faith,

 but from the Kingdom of Eternal Peace, Love and Joy.

You have been placed on this earth to prove a point to me,

To prove to me that you wish to come home.

To prove that my love is still with you after all this time of you being away from me Here in the Kingdom.

 The devil wants you to believe that the world was meant to help you,

 but remember your spirit is not meant to be of the world,

 it is separate from the body.

You are not bodies with spirits, you are spirits with bodies.

The world is a distraction that I have purposely designed so YOU can SEEK ME.

As you seek ME, I will seek you. This is a give and take relationship.

I need you just as you need me.

There is a special spot in my heart that you alone can fill.

I want all of YOU completely so I can give you all of me and abundantly more. 

So when your cup has runeth over with the volume that is ME,

Remember where I am taking you…

To the Kingdom of Eternal Peace, Love and Joy.

"Make Love"

After listening to a certain song that repeatedly used the phrase "make love," I realized how horribly it misconstrues what love truly is. Scripture tells us that "GOD is love" (1 John 4:8) so therefore it is impossible for anyone to "make" love. "Make" is defined as: "to produce; cause to exist or happen; bring about" (Dictionary, 2013) and it is clear that no one can create GOD for HE is the "Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last" (Rev. 22:13). So you say "well Teressa, you know what the phrase mean," and although I do, I also understand the origin of it. It was created to make people believe that their passion and fire for each other is so intense that they could create love. Also, used as a tactic to get someone to have sex with them, tell them what they want to hear and what sounds nice. Sadly, it has worked and the usage of this phrase has progressed from passion into manipulation. Take away the manipulation and the low self-esteem that made it necessary for someone to hear to feel superior to past partners, and view sex for what it was designed to look like, you get something so beautiful and powerful that you will begin to understand why it is reserved for a married couple.

               So when in reference to sex, what is it exactly?

Sex is a gift from GOD for a married couple that allows them to celebrate an already existing love. For a husband and wife to join together in a special way allowing them to rejoice in their love physically; in a way that is not deemed spiritually appropriate with their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. The Apostle Paul addressed the high increase of sexual immorality and temptation thereof in 1 Corinthians 7:2, "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband." (NIV) As we are called to "be fruitful"(Gen. 1:28), children serves as the product of this union, this celebration (and what is more beautiful than that!) Songs of Solomon is a book NOT meant to exploit their so called "love-making" but to encourage the beauty of celebrating love in this manner (a beautiful book of the bible it truly is!). However sex and its purpose has been misconceived and degraded. No longer is it sacred, but out in the open for all. No longer is it between husband and wife but everyone. No longer is it cherished and valued but degraded into a form of cardio. Sex is a celebration of GOD, and using it for any other reason and with any person other than your spouse (and NO your boyfriend/girlfriend who you have been with for more than two years so you feel like your already married is NOT your spouse), is disrespecting not only your body, but also your partner's body, the spouse you are actually meant to be with some day, and Love Himself.

• Dictionary, 2013. Term"Make" definition retrieved from: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/make. 
• Picture: "On The Floor" by Lindsey, http://www.etsy.com/listing/150674312/print-of-original-oil-painting-by?ref=market

Thank You JESUS For Hope.

I heard this 15 year old girl says that she doesn't believe in love anymore. She has been jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend probably since she was 13. With many guys coming in and out of her life and her need to have a boyfriend, it is easy to understand why she will be giving on love, but is this love. 1 COR 13:8 tells us that "Love never fails..." with this being true then it further proves that what she experienced wasn't love because they all have failed. So, the reality is, she doesn't believe in things that resemble love anymore. Because it wasn't true love. To be so young and believe that love is defined by how people treats her and not how GOD treats her and views her, it is sad. I was in her shoes before. I even ATTEMPTED to force myself to believe that I would just have sex and be independent, be the Samantha from 'Sex and the City'. That life grows empty very quickly when the reality is you truly want love. What's in the darkness will come to the light (Luke 8:17) eventually. And finally at the age of 22 I accepted the fact that I do desire a husband and family but after accepting and embracing GOD as my first love and desiring for HIM to be the first love of my husband as well. Let's face it, as long as your husband is loving GOD first (and wife loving GOD first), obedience to GOD is a priority and naturally the relationship will flourish. To be young and think so negatively about love, but we all want to be loved, even if we aren't willing to accept it. That desire was not placed there by accident. It was meant to be filled with no other than Love Himself, JESUS.

'Aha' Moments.

Reading Luke 24 yesterday and John 21 today was a beautiful reminder that we serve a GOD who knows us intimately. In both chapters, JESUS reveals to HIS disciples who HE is after HIS resurrection. Although the disciples did not recognize initially, JESUS did and said things that sparked an "AHA" moment in their hearts. For two disciples in Luke as they were traveling to Emmaus, HE re-demonstrated scenes from the Last Supper (taking the bread, blessing, and breaking it). Instantly, the disciples were able to identify HIM as JESUS and then HE vanished.

In John, Simon Peter decided to go fishing (others accompanied him) but they were not able to catch any fish. JESUS came and yet once again, they did not recognize HIM initially. But so beautiful HE is, HE reenacted HIS first encounter with Peter. HE told Peter where to drop his net and thus Peter obeyed and miraculously caught an abundance. This was done before when Peter first followed Christ (Luke 5:1-11). Speaking to Peter in such a intimate way, reminding HIM that HE is Christ, HE is LORD. Only our LORD JESUS has that type of power and knowledge.

This reminded me that no matter how far we may feel from Christ, no matter how many sins we have committed (Peter denied Christ three times and was still given redemption), JESUS knows us SO unbelievably well that HE knows how to bring us back. HE is our shepherd and as HIS sheep, HE will not allow for us to go too far without HIM seeking us out and bringing us home. HE knows us individually and deeply; HE knows our trigger points and our soft spots. It is so amazing how we serve a GOD who will use them both to draw us closer to HIM, but we are to not be like mules and resist but like sheep and follow. Amazing HE is! How unbelievably loving HE is! You are not too far from GOD, your "Aha" moment is right around the corner and I pray you follow HIM.

Waiting to Exhale

Waiting to Exhale

Sweeter than the fragrance of a meadow the eve of spring,

More refreshing than the first raindrop after a season of drought,

The Holy Spirit Father GOD is the ultimate source of newness.

Your Spirit Father is the breath needed to enjoy the freshness of rain.

Your Spirit JESUS is the Spirit that allows your greatness to show through us such as the flowers after a season of death and water after a season of thirst.

Your Spirit JESUS is the monument in which our Faith will continue to bloom after each season of longsuffering.

JESUS it is you that brings an understatement to that of beauty seen in flowers and that of thirst for water.

Let us bask in your mercy JESUS.

Let us bathe in your grace and allow your forgiveness to marinate into our skin pouring out the fragrance that is love and joy.

Allow us to drink from your fountain and eat your words and swallow them so when we open our mouths it is the fragrance and taste of truth that sweeps across our lips and into the air that is so contaminated with the poison of superficiality.

JESUS let us hear your heartbeat and see your eyes of compassion that continued to bring sight to others even after yours has closed and opened again.

Let us see you JESUS and be filled with so much Light that even the sun is no match for how bright we are when we all join together in your name.

Let us be rid of fear by speaking your name into the darkness not with our mouths but with our acts of love and compassion.

JESUS let us love as YOU have loved, with no cost and no expense.

JESUS teach us to share the gospel as YOU have, not with what we see in the mirror and retreat but what we know in our heart as the truth.

JESUS let us Love.

Let us Love.

(breathe in...exhale)

It's a new season JESUS and I see, hear and can taste what’s in store...more of you JESUS.

More of YOUR Love.